Etiquette

International traveler are exposed to embarrassment when unaware of local customs, traditions or simply what is locally  considered good manners. Etiquette changes at times even within the same country.

We can help each other avoid these pitfalls by pointing out OUR embarrassing experiences + we can have all a good laugh!

We can also ask each other, thanks to the wide array of nationalities present on Paguro, WHAT to do if in doubt.

We look forward to welcome your postings on this delicate yet essential subject.

We are invited for dinner at a friend's house. They are both chinese from mainland China.

We would like to do no mistake as it is a budding relationship.

What kind of present should we bring? Is wine acceptable?

I would really like to impress them with something that clearly states we understand Chinese culture a bit.

Many thanks

Wendy

Hi Wendy, I guess you had your dinner by now, but for the future here are some facts about Chinese etiquette that might good to know anyway.

In general a gift is more appreciated when it shows or reflects an interests of the donor as well as the recipient of the gift.

Foreigners could think of bringing souvenirs from their own home country (in China a gift with the companies logo is appreciated, but overseas might not be appropriate).

Never give food items to your host as it is an offense, in fact it is "read" that you think they are poor, but fruit baskets and sweets are welcome, as are alcoholic beverages.
A nice and appreciated idea is to give kitchen supplies.
Cigarettes, cigarette lighters, calculators, stamps are much appreciated gifts in China, but they would be strange gift for overseas Chinese.
If you ask your host what can you bring, in China they would reply quite often tea and ink pads.

Chinese do not appreciate loud advertisemnt of value, so don’t wrap the gift in flashy paper. The colours that are considered "proper" are pink, red and gold. NEVER use blue, white, and black!
ALWAYS present your gift with both hands, and receive anything offerd to you with both hands!

Bad things

Some items ARE NOT good gift (actually, quite the opposite, they could land you in trouble) like any sharp objects (scissors, knives, papercuts etc.)... implicitly you are saying that you want to "cut" or terminate your friendship.

Never give white, blue, or black gift, or a present which is a set of four items (four in Chinese is associated with death), or any items with storks or cranes on it, no clocks!

Do not write your message in red ink (although red is a "good" colour in other contexts).

Also beware that anyone offered a gift in China will have to be shy and refuse your present twice before accepting it. Chinese do not want to appear greedy, therefore they will not "receive" the gift until you have offered it three times!

As a guideline, you should be aware that it is considered bad manners to give gifts to someone without a good reason under someone elsewatchful eyes!